A Chuckle

[mudslinger47]

Ole and Sven were fishing in the Minnesota opener when Sven pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches, he asked Ole for a light.
'Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter,' he replied, and then, reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long.

'Yiminy Cricket!' exclaimed Sven, taking the huge Bic lighter in his hands. 'Vere dit yew git dat monster??'

' Vell,' replied Ole, 'I got it from my Genie.'

'You haff a Genie?' Sven asked.

'Ya, shure. It's right here in my tackle box,' says Ole.

'Could I see him?'

Ole opens his tackle box and sure enough, out pops the Genie.

Addressing the genie, Sven says, 'Hey dere! I'm a good friend of your master. Vill you grant me vun vish?'

'Yes, I will,' says the Genie.

So Sven asks the Genie for a million bucks.


The Genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Sven sitting there waiting for his million bucks.
Shortly, the sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million ducks... Flying directly overhead.

Over the roar of the million ducks, Sven yells at Ole, 'Yumpin' Yimminy, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!'
Ole answers, 'Ya, I forgot to tell yew dat Da Genie is hart of hearing. Do yew really tink I asked for a 10-inch Bic?"

[awnunn]

The Hotel Bill

An elderly lady decided to give herself a big treat for her significant birthday by staying overnight in one of London's most expensive hotels.When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.

She exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high. "It's a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth $250.00 for just an overnight stop without even breakfast."
The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate' so she insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appeared and forewarned by the desk clerk announced: "The hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use."
"But I didn't use them," she said.
"Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.

He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from Edinburgh , Glasgow , and Aberdeen performing here," the Manager said.

"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!"

The Manager was unmoved, so she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to the Manager.
The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. "But madam, this check is only made out for $50.00." "That's correct. I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.

"But I didn't!" exclaims the very surprised Manager..

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

[roman]

An off-duty LAPD Captian assigned to Newton Division narrowly escaped serious injury recently when he attempted horseback riding with no prior experiance. He mounted the horse , unassisted, and the horse immediately began moving. As it galloped along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the officer began to slip sideways form the saddle. Altough attempting to grab for the horse's mane he could not get a firm grip. He then threw his arms around the horse's neck, but continued to slide down the side of the horse. The horse galloped along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, losing his grip, the Captian attempted to leap away from the horse and throw himself to safty. His foot became entangled in the stirrup, and he was at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as his head and upper body repeatedly struck the ground. Moments away from unconsciousness and probalbe death, to his great fortune a Los Angles County Sheriff's Deputy, at Wal-Mart on a shoplifting call, saw him and quickly unplugged the horse!

[wallcrusher]

My built in bean pot, just inhaled one of my yo yo's!

[EvaRoach65]

Hello guys,,I'm Eva,28,I think I like your topic about chuckle..I am also a car lover..

[mudslinger47]

For the longest time, many of us have been trying to figure out just
when profiling of people began. I believe I found the source of that
concern.

The day it all started was March 6, 1836. On that fateful day, Davy
Crockett woke up and rose from his bunk on the main floor of the
Alamo. He then walked up to the observation post along the west wall
of the fort. William B. Travis and Jim Bowie were already there,
looking out over the top of the wall. These three great men gazed at
the hordes of Mexicans moving toward them. With a puzzled look on his
face, Crockett turned to Bowie and said: "Jim, are we having some
landscaping done today?"