a cowboy named Bud

**halfast07** · 03-12-2013, 10:00 AM

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous
pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him
out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, Ray Ban®
sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy,
"If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd,
will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer,
connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA
page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact
fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that
scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and
exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ...

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image
has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL®
database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his
Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You
have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with
amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what
your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why
not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew, to a question I never asked.

You used millions of dollars’ worth of equipment trying to show me how
much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how
working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is
a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog.

AND THAT FOLKS IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS ALL ABOUT.

**Clayton_Wetter** · 03-12-2013, 01:41 PM

Originally Posted by t.nie

The real problem is people who are so simple minded and filled with hate that posting crap like that on an internet forum makes them feel better.

The problem isn't everyone else. The problem is you.

The problem is you and your anger over free speech. Plus now you have to use your real name to post again?

**Highside Hustler25** · 03-12-2013, 09:03 PM

Originally Posted by halfast07

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous
pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him
out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, Ray Ban®
sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy,
"If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd,
will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer,
connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA
page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact
fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that
scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and
exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ...

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image
has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL®
database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his
Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You
have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with
amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what
your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why
not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew, to a question I never asked.

You used millions of dollars’ worth of equipment trying to show me how
much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how
working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is
a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog.

AND THAT FOLKS IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS ALL ABOUT.

lol

**LITE-INN** · 03-12-2013, 09:12 PM

Originally Posted by t.nie

The real problem is people who are so simple minded and filled with hate that posting crap like that on an internet forum makes them feel better.

The problem isn't everyone else. The problem is you.

whats wrong todd you don't seem be on the fastrack on anything lately what gives , it was a joke son

**LITE-INN** · 03-12-2013, 09:13 PM

Originally Posted by t.nie

The real problem is people who are so simple minded and filled with hate that posting crap like that on an internet forum makes them feel better.

The problem isn't everyone else. The problem is you.

can you telt the difference between a dog and sheep

**DirtClassic** · 03-12-2013, 09:34 PM

Originally Posted by Highside Hustler25

lol

**Vettemaker** · 03-13-2013, 05:16 AM

The Arrogance of Authority!!!!

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.
He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."

The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location.

Rudely interrupting, the DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me !"

Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.
"See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land !!
No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear......do you understand ?!!"

The rancher nodded politely, and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......

With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....

(I just love this part....

Your badge, show him your BADGE........ ! !"

**Okfine** · 03-13-2013, 06:40 AM

Great way to start out the morning with a laugh......thanks

**Okfine** · 03-13-2013, 04:22 PM

Thank you.....and if there is anyone out there that would like to see the pm I sent to this guy, please let me know and I will forward directly to you so that you can see what I wrote ......far from threatening.And for anyone out there that may know?An ip scrambler? Do those exist and if so , who would be so paranoid as to need one for a quasi racing website?........And is this guy always like this? How do you all stand it?