Can't we all just get along??

[Centeroff]

How do you get sliding sideways, old fan, Pierce fan and bubstr to sit on 1 barstool all at once? You turn it upside down!! And they'd love it lol

[Centeroff]

Last one and I'm done with this thread.. Sliding sideways walks into a bar and looks the bartender straight in the eyes and says I need 20 shots. The bartender says ole my, what's the occasion? Sideways says I'm celebrating my first blowjob. The bartender says I'll tell you what my man that's always a good day so I'm gonna throw one in on the house for lucky number 21. Sideways say no bub don't worry about it because if 20 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth nothing will!! Lmfao

[427c.i.]

Guy walks into a bar with a monkey and asks the bartender if the monkey is welcome? It's kind of slow so the bartender says yeah, what the heck?" The monkey starts running all over the place, eating fruit out of the mixed drink containers, drinking out of the draft beer spouts, generally having his way with the bar. The bartender says "Hey, you gotta control the monkey!" Guy says "don't worry, I'll pay for everything." About that time the monkey eats the cue ball off the pool table. The guy finishes his beer, pays for the fruit and all the rest, including the cue ball, gives the bartender a $50 tip and leaves.
A few weeks later he comes back in and asks if the monkey is welcome. Bartender, knowing the drill and remembering the big tip says "Sure!"
Same thing, monkey is running all over getting into everything when he jumps on the bar, grabs a piece of pineapple, shoves it up his butt, then eats it. Same thing with a grape and then an olive and then a cherry. Bartender says "Hey, I can't have that monkey shoving fruit up his a$$ and then eating it in front of everybody!!" Guy says " I'm sorry, but after that cue ball, he measures EVERYTHING!!"

[GregA12]

In an attempt to lighten the mood I thought I'd tell a racial joke...lol...here it goes...this white guy with a parrot on his shoulder is touring Africa and stops in to a local pub for a brew...he is the only white guy in there...the bartender looks at the guy and then looks at his parrot and says..."hey that's pretty cool where did you get it?".....the parrot says "oh America"....have a good day

Like your post bud and I root for Bobby because I see how he wheels that thing. Anyway, we need more of this. There are a lot of good people we've all met from this sport and there are a lot of good aspects that we overlook because of the frustrations at the forefront. It's nice to sit back and think about some of those positive memories. May be fun to start a post like that in the next day or 2.

[dirtdobber45]

Guy walks into a bar with a monkey and asks the bartender if the monkey is welcome? It's kind of slow so the bartender says yeah, what the heck?" The monkey starts running all over the place, eating fruit out of the mixed drink containers, drinking out of the draft beer spouts, generally having his way with the bar. The bartender says "Hey, you gotta control the monkey!" Guy says "don't worry, I'll pay for everything." About that time the monkey eats the cue ball off the pool table. The guy finishes his beer, pays for the fruit and all the rest, including the cue ball, gives the bartender a $50 tip and leaves.A few weeks later he comes back in and asks if the monkey is welcome. Bartender, knowing the drill and remembering the big tip says "Sure!"Same thing, monkey is running all over getting into everything when he jumps on the bar, grabs a piece of pineapple, shoves it up his butt, then eats it. Same thing with a grape and then an olive and then a cherry. Bartender says "Hey, I can't have that monkey shoving fruit up his a$$ and then eating it in front of everybody!!" Guy says " I'm sorry, but after that cue ball, he measures EVERYTHING!!"

Thats an oldie but a goodie lmao

[dirtdobber45]

I gota classic...man walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you $500 I can piss in that glass across the bar." Bartender says "your on" Dude whips it out and starts pissing on the bar, the stools, the floor and even on the bartender..never hits that glass. Bartender says"you owe me $500." Guy says "wait a minute" and runs over to the pool room. When the guy comes back hes smiling and puts $500 on the bar. Bartender asks "you just lost $500 and your smiling about it?" Dude with a smile says "yeah, but I bet those two guys in the poolroom $1000 each that I could piss all over your bar and on you and you would smile about it"..lol classic

[pierceFAN]

Did you hear about the guy who bought a wallet that was made out of an elephants foreskin?? Yep when he rubs it, it turns into a suitcase

[Bubstr]

Did you hear about the guy who bought a wallet that was made out of an elephants foreskin?? Yep when he rubs it, it turns into a suitcase

No, but I did hear of the Rabi that saved foreskins and made a overcoat out of them. Every time a pretty girl walked by, his hands shot high over head and couldn't put them down, till she left.

[fastford]

dirtdobber, i was just fikin to post that one, herd it a little different, but still a good one. heres an old poem i liked. I wish i were a ring , upon my loved ones hand, for every time she wipes her azz, id see the promise land......

[gjohnston]

Let's see if I can do this without getting words censored...

A guy is dating a woman named Wendy and he decides to have her name tattoed on the end of his "member" as a surprise. When his member is deflated the only letters that are visible are "W" and "Y." Then one day he goes to a public bathroom to take a leak and stands next to a black dude. For some reason he looks over and catches a glimpse of a "W" and "Y" on the other guy's tool. He says to him; "Hey, you have a girlfriend who's name is Wendy?" And the black dude responds with: "No mon, mine says 'Welcome to Jamaica and Have a Nice Day.'"

[JinxNC]

Big burly dude walks into a bar looking for a fight. He sits down, orders a drink, and speaks loudly... "Everyone on my right is a no good SOB." Place goes silent and no one moves. Not deterred, he tries again... "Everyone on my left is a lousy homo." Suddenly he hears soft footsteps behind him and whirls around to see centeroff tip toeing by him.... "Where you think you going boy?" he shouts, to which centeroff replies... "Excuth me thir, but I wath on the wrong thide..."

[SLIDING SIDEWAYS]

Big burly dude walks into a bar looking for a fight. He sits down, orders a drink, and speaks loudly... "Everyone on my right is a no good SOB." Place goes silent and no one moves. Not deterred, he tries again... "Everyone on my left is a lousy homo." Suddenly he hears soft footsteps behind him and whirls around to see centeroff tip toeing by him.... "Where you think you going boy?" he shouts, to which centeroff replies... "Excuth me thir, but I wath on the wrong thide..."

Lmao that a good one jinx

[pierceFAN]

A guy walks into a tavern and in the wall there is a sign that says Ham sandwiches $5 handjobs $10...so he says to the bartender "are you the lady that gives the handjobs?"...she proudly says "YES I AM!"...he says "well wash your dam hands and make me a ham sandwich!"

[SLIDING SIDEWAYS]

Let's see if I can do this without getting words censored...

A guy is dating a woman named Wendy and he decides to have her name tattoed on the end of his "member" as a surprise. When his member is deflated the only letters that are visible are "W" and "Y." Then one day he goes to a public bathroom to take a leak and stands next to a black dude. For some reason he looks over and catches a glimpse of a "W" and "Y" on the other guy's tool. He says to him; "Hey, you have a girlfriend who's name is Wendy?" And the black dude responds with: "No mon, mine says 'Welcome to Jamaica and Have a Nice Day.'"

I heard this one before it one of my favorates as i have to explain the letters Dr (Dirtdobber45 & 25rjr) when i use the bathroom.

[STRONGERTHANDIRT]

Horse walks into a bar...bartender says "why the long face?"